“Bleeding Hearts…”

“Bleeding Hearts…”

Today’s blog is more of a writing from-the-heart piece on a quiet Sunday afternoon. I’m sure some of you can relate 🙂

I must confess that I am very overly sensitive at times. It seems that my heart has more bruises and scars than I would ever be able to count or admit. After some of the pains and hurts I have experienced you would think that I would be as tough as nails. Yet, the tears can still come; especially when a matter hits certain emotional chords. However, I didn’t just turn out this way. I have pretty much been this way my entire life.

I can easily recall “crying” just about every Sunday night while watching episodes of Lassie and Timmy! Looking back, my favorite TV shows always involved loving families, “Father Knows Best,” “Andy Griffith,” “Patty Duke,” “The King Family,” and even “Bonanza.” Every showed somehow ended with love, encouragement, support, and understanding within the show’s characters. A “Happy-Ever-After” philosophy and generation. Not very true to life or very realistic.

But, those fictional programs of the 60’s sent out a powerful message and an unreal image of what a “happy,” “loving” family was all about…Quite the opposite of many nonfictional (real) characters found in the Bible where two brothers having opposite views and beliefs resulted in the first committed murder! And, when a wife who could not produce children offered her maid-servant to be her husband’s mistress! Now, there’s “realty” TV for you!

Many doctors and researchers say that some forms of “depression” can be the part of a person’s life where unreal expectations and absolute reality meet. If a person can “deal,” “process,” and “handle the absolute realities in life then they can often escape deep depression. As human beings, We all go through forms of “situational” depression at times when our lives are affected by specific circumstances and situations. But, I am talking about a lifestyle troubled with pangs of depression…The ongoing parts of life where unreal or unmet expectations meet reality on a daily basis…We either choose to climb over the bumps of reality or allow them to climb upon us; and bury us alive!

People who are highly or overly sensitive in certain areas of their lives don’t think or process situations like other non-highly sensitive people do. The non-highly sensitive people quickly adjust and move forward. The highly or overly sensitive person can easily fall into a deep pit of “Woe is me; not again” mentality. I have to admit that I FIGHT my own feelings and emotions a lot of times to overcome those intrusive negative, nagging thoughts. And, I have to admit that some of those battles are tougher and last longer than others. I am grateful that I am aware of this “flaw” in my life, but I also know that I have to fight against it at times just like an addict may have to fight whatever their addiction might be. For me, and to me, it’s just as real.

I thank God for HIS word, time, prayer, and naps when needed to help reduce and overcome these times in my life. Don’t get me wrong…the things that I can get easily depressed over are NOT fiction; they are real…They just hit me a whole lot deeper and hang on a whole lot longer than with other people I know. My poor husband of 39 years has come to understand this about me more in the past few years than ever before. What he once thought was just my being a “witch” was actually my digging deep within to overcome feelings of rejection, insecurities, and fears…You might ask how can a person who claims to be a Christian deal with fears, anxities, and insecurities? Really! Name me one person who doesn’t from time to time! Even John the Baptist before he was to be beheaded sent his disciples to Christ Jesus asking to KNOW for “certain” that HE was truly the CHRIST! Come on, people, if John the Baptist had a moment of doubt and weakness don’t think for a moment you or we can’t, too!

So, so many times I have to climb up from the ground, dust off the dust, wipe away particles from the scratches and bruises, and get back up on my “horse-of-life,” knowing all the time that I will find myself having to repeat the same old process over and over and over again…But, all of this is not bad. People who are sensitive, even overly sensitive people, also see things that other people don’t see or might miss. They may see a “need” in someone else’s life. They may “sense” when a person needs a “pat-on-the-back.” I know I had a situation when I was teaching a group of 8th graders and “sensed” that one of my students was going through a particular difficult time in her life. I even somehow “sensed” that she may be in some type of danger. After wrestling with my “feelings” for a few days, I decided to speak with the school’s counselor about my concerns. As it turned out, the precious, young girl’s uncle had recently moved into her house and was molesting her. That time my “overly-senstive” feelings helped to remove a child from a dangerous environment.

We all have to discover who we are in the LORD and how to “bloom where we are planted” instead of trying to be like everyone else around us…As the Apostle Paul stated, “I am who I am.” Amen. So, to all my “bleeding heart” friends out there who take a lot of grief at times, may God always be your strength and source of courage to face whatever the day may bring…For it is in HIM, and HIM alone, that we find our shelter and refuge in the storms of life and in daily life. Amen.

Remember, God Loves You!
Lin T Rollins, Author


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