Wives submit unto your own husbands as unto the Lord…Ephesians 5:22
Today, is my 38th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary to my husband and me. And, thanksgivings and praise unto our Lord and Savior for His blessings upon our lives and marriage.
Now, what about this Biblical directive, “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husband,” teachings of the Apostle Paul??? Possibly, no other teaching of the scriptures has ever been more analyzed, debuted, refuted, or refused to be followed! I mean we are Americans born in a country of freedom and free choices; aren’t we?
Nevertheless, when we, a man and a women, commit ourselves in a marital relationship healthy boundaries must be established. The word “submit” has many different meanings in our English language: “to yield;” “to agree;” “to defer.” Let’s look closer at these three meanings:
When driving a car in America, one must often “yield” to the other driver to avoid an accident or collision. As we drive along many roads and highways, we will see “Yield” signs along the way. Should an accident occur at one of these “signs,” the fault of the accident will be placed upon the one who failed to “yield” in the situation.
Using that particular strategy, let’s look at the need for one to “yield” in a marriage relationship. I’m probably the worse person in the world to give advice in such an area!! But, in a committed marriage, one or both parties will often need to “yield” (slow down or stop) in various discussions, situations, and/or circumstances; and most often it falls upon the wife’s shoulders to do the yielding…Why? I really don’t know! However, It could be our different biological make-ups as male and female gender…It could be our different emotional make-ups (once again male and female gender)…Or, it could be our different upbringings and cultural expectations. Yet; in most cases in a healthy marriage, the woman will “yield” in a given situation to her husband often to simply avoid adding insult to injury!…But, here’s an important secret in this matter. If your husband is anything like mine the more I “beg,” “nag,” or won’t yield, the more he digs his anchors into the ground not moving at all! I honestly believe it’s a guy thing! I have “witnessed” this same type of mind-set when my grandsons are playing at our house with my granddaughters! As long as no one is “yielding” there is arguing and yelling (I’m talking about the grandkids! LOL!) When one of the parties (usually the granddaughters) yield, the conflict is suddenly resolved! Within minutes, the grandsons will “relinquish” their hold on whatever it was they were debating or arguing over and the granddaughters will then gracefully slide right in as victors! So, “yielding” actually brings about more productive measures than not yielding! Most wives learn this advantage early on in a marriage! (smile!)
To “submit” also means “to agree.” If I said that I “agreed” with my husband over everything for the past 38 years a tree would most likely fall out of the sky and upon my head right in the middle of the ocean! Yet; I have graciously learned that when I “agree” with his decisions (and support them); especially the bigger ones, the Lord tends to bless those decisions for good. Example…Back in 1976, my husband and I bought our first home. I was nervous that the cost of the house and the house payments were above our budget. But, my husband insisted that it was the right thing for us to do. Each month, for the next twenty-five years, God, like clock-work, supplied the mortgage payment. The monies that we invested into that home helped us to purchase our second home twenty-five years later. I credit that financial decision to my husband…So, I’m grateful that I “submitted” and “agreed” to support his decision in purchasing our first home; even though I was nervous and fearful in the beginning! I learned to “trust” my husband’s decisions in such matters.
To submit also means to “defer” (put something off at the time) or to overlook something. In a healthy marriage, both parties typically have to “defer” or overlook one another’s weaknesses, faults, and failures. None perfect; no not one! However, at times you can often find the “wife” deferring her plans for those of her husband’s. I mean how many wives have “submitted” to a day of shopping while their husbands play golf! (smile!) Or, how many casual plans get cancelled simply based upon the husband’s decision, “No, I’m not going; I’m too tired!” So, as wives we often “defer” our plans until a better time and opportunity! Do I hear an “Amen” in the house! (smile!)
The Apostle Paul knew exactly what he was teaching when he followed the leadership of the Holy Spirit and wrote the words, “Wives, submit unto your own husbands as unto the Lord.” But, please note that there is one “key” word in that directive as well, “your OWN husband.” It’s easy at times to get caught up in a mindset of “everyone else is doing it!” Each home has its own distinctive autonomy of judicial ruling and operating! No two households or families operate alike! Families, like snow flakes, are all different! This is why the Apostle Paul included the very important term, “your “own” husband;” not your friend’s husband, or your sister’s husband, or even your nail technician’s husband! Enjoy yourself in the distinct world that is yours alone within your own home! Amen!
My “own” husband is a “home-body.” He’s not much on the night-life or socializing. He enjoys a well-cooked supper and watching a few episodes of “Andy Griffith” before reading and retiring for the evening. On the other hand, I am more of a “Christian” social-butterfly who needs and enjoys being surrounded by good friends, good conversation, and Facebook time! As the old adage says, “Opposites attact!” But, one thing for certain…we both love, enjoy, and look forward to “grandkid” time!!!
So, if someone asked me the secret to making it to my 38th wedding anniversary I would have to say two things: ” We didn’t divorce, and we didn’t kill one another!” But, the most important and essential reason is the LORD. God took two very imperfect people and placed them into an imperfect union and showed them that by our willingness to “SUBMIT” unto HIM (Jesus Christ) that we could receive His blessings upon our lives; not a perfect life by any means, but one that defines and demonstrates God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, and Love; one for another, our family, and our Lord.
So, “wives submitting” to our “own” husbands is not a bad thing after all; especially when viewed from a Biblical perspective! Amen!
(Please note: that I do not advocate any wife “submitting” to a harmful, illegal, or life-threatening situation or environment. Seek out help from a trusted friend, trusted family member, pastor, counselor, or law official. God expects us to seek-out and to use wisdom and integrity within our lives. Amen)
Remember, God Loves You!
Lin T Rollins, Author
copyright: Lin T Rollins