“Husband, Love Your Wives…”
“Husband, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it…(Ephesians 5:25)
For the past several blogs, I have been writing about and expounding upon scriptures from the book of Ephesians; Paul’s letter to the Church at Ephesus. A few days ago, I wrote about “Wives Submitting unto Your Own Husbands.” Today’s scripture deal with husbands “loving” their own wives.
Interesting; isn’t it? Wives are instructed to “submit,” and husbands are instructed to “love.” Here’s a thought to ponder: I suppose you can have “submission” without love, but hardly will you ever find “love” without some sort of submission! Mmmmm. I mean anyone can “make” themselves “submit” to another’s authority and/or rule; people do it everyday. But, to truly “love” someone and demonstrate that “love” usually brings forth a, “How can I please you” attitude and frame of heart. I mean, if a person really “loves” another person he or she will want to show it in all kinds of special, caring, nurturing, and submissive ways…
“”””But, wait a minute Sister Linda!!….You are wrong! Husbands don’t submit to their wives. The wife is supposed to submit to the husband!”””” Oh, I can hear the slamming down of the computer tops and rushing of male-gender feet to get their KJV’s to erase any “false” teachings I might be implying here!! BUT, wait a minute before you tar-and-feather me!! I did NOT say, type, or write (whichever verb you so desire to choose) that a man “submit” himself to his wife…I simply copied what the Apostle Paul stated when HE said and wrote, “Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…” I’m just saying that “unconditional” love-from-the-heart manifests itself often in “giving of ones self,” or “pleasing” the one you love….After all, Jesus GAVE himself for His church and it certainly PLEASED the church; the Bride of Christ! Amen!
I must be; no I am, one of the most fortunate and blessed wives on the face of the earth…But, I also know that I am NOT the only one. I see it all the time….Men who love their wives enough to “allow,” “permit,” and even encourage their wives to be happy with their own choices, plans, goals, or desires…(Now, I’m NOT totally crazy….No woman alive gets “her way” 100% of the times!!! And, whether we, as women, want to admit it or not…we really don’t expect to! —But, “sh” we don’t want “them” (our husbands!) to find this out! LOL!)
But, then again I have “witnessed” men who would not “dare” to let their “little old lady” have a say-so in anything; especially inside the church or out in public in front of their peers, buddies, pals, and comrades! Why that would NOT be scriptural according to these strong-willed, self-determined, enlightened, smarter-than-the-average-bear, and masculine men-of-men!!! You know the ones I’m referring…Men who shout-out or bark, “Hey, get that kid; he’s crying again!” Men who say, “Well, if she was my wife I’d tell you what I’d do, I put her in her place in a heartbeat!” Or, “I’m the head of my household and no woman gonna tell me what to do!”…..Just to list a few!
See, having lived in the position of being a Pastor’s wife for many years, I have witnessed and encountered “all” kinds of interpretations of “this” particular scripture…But, to be perfectly honest, when things are lined up right in the home as well as the heart the roles to “submit” and to “love” come naturally without needing a script or bumper sticker to be reminded!
“Love,” real love (I Corinthians 13 Love), Godly love, just naturally “submits” one to another!!! Mind you, I do NOT always get my way (and, I don’t expect to)…and my husband doesn’t always demand his way! Sometimes, we even use little reminders such as, “I picked the restaurant last time so where do you want to go tonight?” And, sometimes the answer might simply be, “I’d like to stay home and eat a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich with chips and a pickle!” (Anyone who is from the South knows you can’t beat a BLT in the summertime with a cold glass of iced-tea!)
So, why do you think God instructed the “man” to “LOVE” the wife? Because, to me, there is nothing more beautiful, appealing, humbling, and attractive than watching an older gentleman opening a door and honoring his lovely bride of 20, 30, 40, 50, or 60 years! You can see how he cherishes her in the twinkle of his eyes. He’s patient. He’s kind. He’s courteous. He’s doting…And, believe me the man is NOT hen-pecked!!! He is demonstrating a “godly” love towards his spouse….He’s a true gentleman who carries the “love” for his wife in his heart everywhere he goes. You won’t find him standing around the water-cooler cracking “wife” jokes! And, you won’t find his wife sitting around in a circle of ladies “bashing” their husbands! They have “learned” the secret to “love” and “submission.” Through “submitting” one to another…God’s true intentions for the church; the Bridegroom of Christ.
I believe if our society witnessed more of these idealistic scenes that they could understand the whole concept of the “church” age a little better! A little piece of Heaven on earth! So, to all these “I”m the man of the house and boss around here!” You may get your wifely “submission fix,” sometimes even with a gentle smile, but what you won’t get is the authentic deeper love and respect you think you rightfully deserve! Because, as I stated in the beginning…”You can submit without love, but you can’t love without showing signs of submission!” (in a good way!)…..
Remember, God Loves You!
Lin T Rollins, Author
copyrighted by Lin T Rollins