I don’t know where you live, but here in northwest Georgia, we are seeing a lot of rain and thunder storms during the evenings and nights. Last night was no exception. I was awakened to loud thunder, pounding rains, and intense lightnings.
But, that wasn’t all that woke me up. I suffer from permanent positional vertigo, spatial memory lapses, and headaches due to a cerebral bilateral artery dissection last August, 2010. Even though I also suffered from a cerebral brain aneurysm back in 2005, I returned to the classroom teaching students within twenty days. Not this time. My group of neurologists at Emory Hospital felt that after two spontaneous brain injuries within five years, it would be too risky for my health to return to teaching or higher levels of stress.
Retiring was not easy for me. I had become quite accustomed to an overly busy schedule for the past thirty-seven years, including being a Pastor’s wife, mother, grandmother, Sunday school teacher, Ladies WMU Director, church pianist, and full-time public school teacher. Looking back, it’s no wonder that the arteries in my brain started bulging out or ripping apart!!
But, now the order-of-the-day is lots of rest and managing lower-levels of stress. That’s not always easy for a Type “A” personality. But, when it means helping to sustain your own life; you try your best. Sometimes, the dizziness is nearly unbearable; like it was last night and again this morning. Also, the dizziness causes a very painful, dull headache. At times, I want to call my doctor out of concern. But, I know the regiment…spinal taps, MRI’s and overnight stays in the ICU. So, I take long deep breaths and patiently try to get through the episodes. It’s hard though. But, I know it could be a whole lot worse. While in Emory’s ICU Stoke Unit last August, I had to walk around to regain my balance after the dissection. Bed after bed, room after room, held patients who were not as fortunate as me to be leaving the hospital still able to walk and talk. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able get that scene truly out of my head.
I know I am blessed to be alive, and I want to live each day showing my gratefulness to God. So, even though stormy nights or episodes of severe dizziness keep me awake, I know I am a blessed person. I can always count my blessings. Today, we can all count our blessings; even in the storms. “Til the storm passes over, til the thunder sounds no more, til the clouds roll forever from the sky…Hold me fast, let me stand, in the Hallow of Thine Hand…Keep me safe…til the storms passes by.” What a sweet old hymn.. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.
Remember, God Loves You,
Lin T. Rollins, Author